


I Didn't Know I Was Broken (Until I Wanted to Change)

by slytherclaw13



Series: Bipolar!Phil [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Phil, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 09:25:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18938098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slytherclaw13/pseuds/slytherclaw13
Summary: I’m going to get better, he thinks to himself. I want to get better.





	I Didn't Know I Was Broken (Until I Wanted to Change)

**Author's Note:**

> So I received a comment from Chocolategal on my last bipolar Phil fic that they wanted a part 2 of sorts, where Phil sought help. This is more like 'part 2 of 3', as I want to stick with this tale a little longer. I hope you enjoy!

It’s hard to change when things feel good. In the throes of mania, everything is beautiful. You work harder on less fuel and no matter what, you always come out on top. When Phil is up, he doesn’t see the point of going to a doctor because things are already perfect as is! _I mean, come on Dan,_ he opines, just a little too quickly and a little too loudly, _I’m putting out videos regularly, I’m seeing friends, what does it matter if I’m not eating?_

But when he’s down, oh god when he’s down. When he’s down he feels like nothing, no, worse than nothing because at least nothing wouldn’t hurt the people around him this badly. He’s caught Dan crying more than once, saying to himself _I wish I knew how to help you_. And it’s in the deepest depths of self-loathing he realizes: why do I need to do this anymore?

So he takes to Google, searching psychiatrists near me and finds a woman, Dr. Susan Striker, who is taking on new clients. And, without even telling Dan, books himself an appointment,

_So_ , says Susan clipboard and pen in hand, _when did this all start?_

_I guess_ , he stutters, _I’m not sure. All I know is one week I’m great, and then for the next month I’m not._

_Classic bipolar_ , Susan says as she scribbles down a note. W _e’ll get you started on lithium and see where it goes from here. Fill the prescription, take 1 dose daily, and we’ll meet back here in a month to see where you are._

Phil practically sprints to the chemist, hands over his prescription with pride. _I’m going to get better_ , he thinks to himself. _I want to get better._


End file.
